Feeling Seen in Therapy

There are many approaches to therapy. They include different modalities (like CBT, DBT, EMDR and so forth). They also take on approaches like relational and maybe a softer more personable seeming approach, more professional and seemingly teaching or educational approaches and many in between. I think this is beautiful because no one person is like the other and no one mental or emotional health struggle is like the other.

What I believe to be most important in therapy, is that you feel seen.

Feeling seen is this uncommon commodity, I believe. It is being able to show up, sit on the couch or in the chair across from your therapist, unmask and know that you are not judged.

The phenomenon of feeling seen can also be framed as holding space for. When you feel seen by your therapist, or when they hold space for you – in essence you are invited to be as you as you can be. You can unravel and that is welcome.

Some therapist use the term that all parts are welcome.

This means that all the parts of you that you like, don’t like, know or are unfamiliar with…they are all invited to be seen and known. This experience may be unfamiliar to you. It might even feel a little scary or uncomfortable.

Often discomfort indicates something you haven’t experienced before.

Discomfort does not always mean something is bad, it simply can mean it is unfamiliar. I think this is where therapy can beautifully weave itself into the fabric of your life. You can experience a healthy relationship with your therapist where you feel seen and known – not judged – and you can share some very hard things. And then? You’ll still be seen and known, without being judged.

The relationship you can build with your therapist might be a template you can take into your other relationships. Perhaps you can learn about and practice boundaries. Another experience might be sitting in an uncomfortable moment with your therapist, and slowing down to notice emotions that come up. You can feel anxious and talk about it without worrying whether your therapist is okay or not.

Some of these experiences are unique to therapy.

I believe some of them can be so very healing. This is also a reason why it is so important to feel safe with your therapist. If you feel you are holding back, I invite you to be curious about whether it is because you don’t feel comfortable or something else. The relationship you have with your counsellor can serve as both healing but also a good model of how you might want to experience your other relationships in life.

What do you think? If you’re in counselling, do you resonate with the idea of feeling seen by your therapist? If not, do you notice something else? I invite you to slow down to notice what your body is communicating. Do you feel calm, regulated and safe? Or, do you feel rigid or anxious? The body keeps score and doesn’t lie.

Your body is wise!

If you want to step into a counselling relationship where you feel seen, known and safe – please reach out. I work in the Langley, BC area both in-person and virtually (anywhere) in BC. I offer free consultations with no waitlist!