Why The Therapist You Choose Matters

Clients attend therapy to heal, to have a space to process, to dig into hard things confidentially…and a whole slew of other reasons. It’s common to believe that all therapists are alike. After all, to become a Registered Clinical Counsellor in BC, the therapist has Masters degree. Many therapists have additional training, but how do you know if your therapist is the right one for you? How much does it matter? Isn’t it enough to know their education level and maybe their years in practice?

The therapist you choose to work is deeply important for your health!

Looking at research, we have learned that the relationship between the client and therapist is more important than many other things. You might want a specifically emotion focused therapist, an attachment or relational therapist, an EMDR therapist or some other background. This is very valid and it is important. However…

The degree to which you feel seen, known and understood by your therapist is significant. Clients attend counselling for many reasons but often struggles are birth through relationship issues. These issues could be within your family of origin, friendships, your marriage or intimate relationship, with your kids or other connections. If you have been hurt in the context of relationship, relationship needs to become the vehicle used to heal you.

The therapist you choose matters because this relationship is significant in healing.

Finding a therapist who has multitudes of training is a great indication that they love to learn and that professional growth is important to them. It might indicate that the therapist is very educated in a particular clinical approach. This may be important – and professional growth is definitely something you may want to know about, when looking for a counsellor. Yet, if your counsellor has a ton of training and you don’t feel seen by them, their training is unhelpful to you. I would suggest this is the same for a really good website or advertising platforms. For many of us, a professional first-look is important! However, you want to get a feel for who your therapist is outside of words and pictures.

If you don’t feel safe or comfortable, seen and understood by your therapist, they might not be the right one for you.

I do believe that a photo, a video and a great biography are important ways to communicate who therapists are. As well, training and experience absolutely matters. The relationship you have with your counsellor matters more. This relationship is both in the context of individual counselling as well as as marriage counselling or couples counselling. If you’ve experienced a traumatic event, this relationship will hold significance, because trust might be hard for you to build.

How do you find a therapist who is the edge fit for you? How do you know if the relationship is the right one? I suggest a few things. As mentioned above, it is important that you can check some of the more objective boxes: education, training or professional development, maybe faith or religion is important, location and availability…these are some criteria. Beyond that, I invite you to consider a consultation call. This complimentary call is typically 15-20 minutes and it gives you an opportunity to ask questions, sort of like an interview. It also gives you a few minutes to notice how you feel as you are talking with a potential therapist. Do you feel comfortable? In this short timeframe, does the therapist answer questions you have in a way that leaves you feeling heard? Do they work in the areas that feel important to you?

At the end of the day your therapy is about you. Your healing.

It’s about how you want to experience life, relationships and how you show up for yourself and others. It’s about your mental and emotional health. Healing takes place in safe spaces and a healer therapeutic relationship is profound in this.

If you’d like to connect with me, I work in Langley offering both in-person individual and couples counselling, as well as online counselling anywhere in BC. I am a relational therapist, meaning that I believe the relationship between you and I is significant. Your right as a client is to have a therapist you feel comfortable with, and if that’s me, I truly respect that. I am happy to refer you to other therapists with whom you might connect better. My heart for clients is that you experience healing, feel you are making progress (whatever that looks like for you), that you are seen and known without judgement. Healing happens in relationship.