Loneliness, Social Media and Your Mental Health

You might be familiar with the experience or feeling of loneliness. If you are, you aren’t (ironically) alone in this. Loneliness is a phenomenon that’s been studied for decades. Some of the earliest studies were in the mid-1940’s – people reported loneliness back then. Now however, loneliness is reaching all time highs. What social workers, researchers and mental health professionals are finding is concerning. Let’s talk a little bit about loneliness.

More specifically, loneliness, social media and your mental health.

Approximately 10% of the population reports feeling lonely daily. And, around 30% (or higher) report having experienced loneliness weekly, through this last year. Research is also showing that loneliness is a universal suffering. And, it is affecting your mental, emotional as well as physical health.

Interestingly, but not surprisingly social media is interconnected, here. What’s now being reported is a positive correlation between quitting social media and positive mental wellbeing. Meaning, those who are deleting apps and completely staying off of social media are feeling better.

Ironically, social connections on online platforms are not supporting social connections in real life. What’s more concerning is that the effect is actually detrimental. Being connection to the world (so-to-speak) is creating a hype-connectivity. This means that while connections are happening, they aren’t as meaningful as in-person connections would be.

You can think of it this way: do you typically feel more connected after coffee or a walk with a friend, or sending a few memes or scrolling their Insta feed?

Feelings that often accompany socializing on social media include rejection, feeling unseen or unknown and disconnected. These are all completely contrary to the biological wiring all humans innately embody. Humans are neurobiologically wired for connection, and while it doesn’t all have to be meaningful, when you feel seen, you experience a true sense of connection.

This experience of feeling seen doesn’t have to happen in the context of a deep, lifelong friendship but to you, in some way, it has to be important. You might be thinking that people rarely reach out to ask you to do something – likely because they’re feeling similar to you.

Armed with this new information about loneliness and its effects (including anxiety, depression, unhealthy attachment), why don’t you take the step to reach out. It’s common that people seem busy for the next week or two. But often you can ask a friend if they’re free for an hour that day, and they likely will be. Surprisingly, the best time to book a meet-up might be right now.

You can pick up the phone and surprise them with a call, rather than a text (or an Insta meme about how you’re both drowning in the crazy of motherhood!).

Maybe you were reminiscing about some fun times past – call that friend and have a chuckle.

You might need to apologize to someone – that’s uncomfortable. And, it’s also the best way to say to someone “I see you”. Repair a rupture. You’ll feel more internal peace.

The Surgeon General recently released statistics which reflect that loneliness (chronically) is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

So, if you don’t reach out for your mental health, I invite you to bravely seek connection for your physical wellbeing. You’ll notice your anxiety decrease when a friend can empathize with your season of life. Or, if you don’t have many close friends volunteer somewhere. One of the most wholesome ways to experience fulfillment and connection is through meaning and meaningful work. Volunteering is exactly that. Plus, you’ll be with like-minded people.

Loneliness is an epidemic.

But I truly believe that you can shift out of it. You might need help – someone in your corner. Sometimes a professional like a clinical counsellor can help. I am trauma informed therapist. I work with individuals and couples both in the Langley area, as well as online anywhere in BC. I’d love to connect, please reach out and book your first session!