How to Process Emotion In a Healthy Way.

You might notice that you can go for days or weeks feeling little to no emotion. Perhaps you distract yourself. You brush emotion under the rug. It’s possible you minimize it. You might notice other ways you’ve come to cope, but you know that it’s not helpful in the end because it comes out in unhealthy and unhelpful ways. If this sounds familiar, you might wonder how to process emotion in a healthy way.

Is it even possible to process emotion in a healthy way?

I’d like to suggest that it is. (That’s probably not surprising, seeing as I have dedicated a big part of myself to this area!) I think it’s also so important to mention that it can feel uncomfortable, unfamiliar and it can take intentional and often hard work. It is also so very worth it. You can experience calm and contentedness perhaps in ways you haven’t in the past, when you can hold space for your emotion. When you process emotion in a healthy, constructive, healing way you might notice relationships improve – including the relationship you hold with yourself!

I’ve noticed recently, a trending phrase. It might sound familiar to you:

Holding space for your emotions.

What does that even mean? Very simply, when you can hold space for your emotions, you are gifting yourself with an opportunity for healing. Holding space means you are suspending judgement (yep!…of, or towards yourself) to slow down, pause, notice and acknowledge what you might be feeling. If emotions are less known to you – or how to identify them is unfamiliar, here is a suggestion:

Find a quiet space. Take a deep breath in (all the way to your diaphragm so you belly pushes out). Repeat. Repeat again. As your mind wanders, I invite you to gently redirect it towards your breath-work. Slowly, notice whether there’s a discomfort, ache, tension, tingling or other physical feeling in your body. If you can notice something, stay with that for a moment. Take another breath in and out, slowly. This might be uncomfortable and if so, just notice that. You can compassionately remind yourself this is hard work. Simply say, “this is hard for me, and I’m going to try”.

If you notice an emotion connected to the discomfort you noticed in your physical body, could you make a mental note of that? Perhaps you can write it down, or you can just notice it. Can you sit with that (possibly) uncomfortable feeling? If you’re able to do that, continue to take those deep breaths in and out.  This will not only help your emotional regulation, but it will allow you to stay present and to stay with that emotion.

If you can, be curious about that emotion. You could notice it’s sadness, what might the sadness be saying? Perhaps it’s anger. If so, can you be curious about what it is trying to communication? How about joy? Joy is the most vulnerable emotion…what is it telling you in this moment?

Suspend judgement and just notice.

This is a hard practice! If you notice that critical voice, that’s normal and you can try to quiet it. You can remind it that it’s not helpful right now, and shift to a curious place rather than a critical one.

Your body, your emotions and thoughts…they are trying to communicate to you. They are working together for you…though you might not always notice this. And that’s okay. This might all be new, very unfamiliar and a little bit scary. Let’s acknowledge that, too.

If you’ve been able to stay with this process thus far, I wonder what you might have noticed. There are many directions I might go with this. You might have noticed how hard it was to do that – slow down, breathe deep and non-judgementally inquire about your emotions. It’s possible you noticed that discomfort in your body move, shift or lighten a little bit. And if you didn’t that’s okay! This is a practice.

This practice is often one I like to practice with clients in session. As you become more used to holding this space for emotions, it will become more natural. It might feel a bit empowering, too. I find it helps clients experience a sense of agency within themselves, and often if you’ve had a traumatic experience you might have lost that sense of agency. Regaining it, finding it – that is significant. It’s healing!

If some of this resonates with you, I invite you to reach out and connect. I would love to connect with you as you start (or continue) your healing journey. Healing and wellness is not only a gift, it is something I believe every human has a right to experience. Please feel welcome to book your consultation or first appointment!