Tragedy, Shock and Your Nervous System
When tragedy strikes – regardless of its specific details – your nervous system may likely react. You might be caught off guard and surprised or shocked even. Often emotion will feel heightened or alternatively, you might find you are completely numbed out. Tragedy, shock and the way your nervous system holds these is unique to you and your lived experiences.
I work with teachers and many teachers are not okay.
This post is dedicated to the Tumbler Ridge tragedy. While you most likely don’t live in that region, or anywhere near it, you’re possibly still affected. If you are in the education system in any way, shape or form, you are likely more affected.
The tragedy itself may bring out heightened emotions. You might have found in that last few days you respond atypically. If you find yourself sad and crying more, I invite you to welcome the tears. They’re an expression of loss, grief, and maybe overwhelm.
Sadness of course, will make so much sense. While it can feel deep or at times dark, I also wonder whether it feels soft. Softer than fear. Softer than despair. Maybe in an uncomfortable way…but softer, nevertheless. Can you breathe into that sadness? This emotion often communicates a loss, so can you notice how this loss sits in your body? Are your shoulders heavy? Do you feel a weight in your stomach?
What happens when you take a few deep breaths into this sad place?
Slowing down to notice uncomfortable emotions cultivates great capacity to hold space for them. Maybe you can notice sadness for a minute…just one minute. Gently, and as it feels comfortable, I invite you to put your hand on your heart. If you are okay with this practice, can you wrap your arms around yourself in a secure hug? Cuddle up with a blanket, a warm drink or maybe a book that brings you comfort. This doesn’t make it go away but it does communicate to your nervous system that you are safe. This is an underrated experience.
If you notice you’re reacting with anger – you’re short, low on tolerance and uncharacteristically snappy, this makes so much sense. Anger will often communication take something feels unfair or unjust. This situation is absolutely that: it is unfair and it is unjust. It is not okay.
It doesn’t make sense in many ways – this can cultivate fear or maybe anxiety. When you don’t have answers, anger might come up as fuel that drives you to seek justice. In an event such as this one, justice isn’t often to be had. And that can leave anger with nowhere to go. Gently, I invite you to feel it, as you can. Don’t bury it, minimize it or push it down.
Talking with a professional might be helpful, if you find yourself in this space.
You might not be able to name the emotion(s) coming up for you at the moment. It might all feel too much, too jumbled, too confusing. Possibly, it feels too overwhelming or dysregulating right now. That’s okay too. That actually makes so much sense. Can we sit with the discomfort of not knowing or being able to name. Can we hold space for the humanity in that?
Adverse experiences happening around us, can bring up past trauma. I invite you to reach out for support, connect with friends, family and seek professional support when that feels helpful. As a trauma-informed counsellor, I welcome clients in-person in the Langley area, and anywhere in BC online. You’re not alone.
