How Is Trauma Stored In My Body?

If you’ve had a traumatic experience, you have likely also noticed how your body can feel different than it used to. It may also respond to some experiences or emotions now, that are confusing. If your traumatic experienced happened in the past, why (and how) is your body responding the way it currently is?

Trauma lives in your body, not just your mind or thought life.

One of my favourite psychologists often talks about how to give yourself and your body a break. She suggests dropping your shoulders, wiggling your toes and dropping your tongue from the roof of your mouth. That last one caught you off-guard didn’t it? The body holds tension – and if you’ve experienced a trauma, your body is holding that. When you drop your shoulders, let your tongue fall from the roof of your mouth and wiggle your toes, you relax a little.

This is your body signalling to your mind that you are safe. And, that may be an unfamiliar (or uncomfortable) thought and feeling. If you noticed your shoulders creep back up, that’s okay. Maybe you can pause for a moment and remind yourself that you are safe. In this moment, it might be helpful to take a deep breath in as well. Deep in – like to your diaphragm…not just deep breaths in your chest.

Physical tension in light of a traumatic experience, can feel tense. This includes tension in your shoulders, jaw, shoulders – including a bit of a hunched position. At times it looks like crossed arms. This can be your body’s way of communicating a stance of self-protection. It might also feel like you’re on alert – what a natural response to something truly awful happening to you. Can I invite you again, to take a deep breath?

You might be experiencing a limbic system response.

This is your fight/flight/freeze/fawn reaction. And, while at times it feels like you should be out of it because your trauma was a long time ago, this is really where we know that the body keeps score of all that happens to it. If you’re wanting to know more about this, I invite you into Bessel Van Der Kolk’s work. Simply put, this is your body’s way of trying to protect you. This is some of why you night feel anxious. Anxiety is your body’s way of communicating that you do not feel safe. This could be mental, emotional, physical, spiritual or relational safety.

Because your body keeps score of what happened to it, it is holding past trauma. It is recalling what it’s like to feel unsafe.

Beginning to heal in a safe space is foundationally important to holistically healing. This means that you’re in a trusted relationship. This might be with a friend, or a counsellor. Within the counselling setting (whether in-person or online), one of the first things your counsellor will share with you is that what you share is confidential. This means that within the limits of confidentiality, you can share all about what happened to you and you don’t have to hold space to worry or wonder about whether your counsellor is okay.

Healing means a safe space to share in a way that makes you feel comfortable.

Talking is the beginning of healing. There are other non-talk approaches that are also effective but the piece that is significant is the relationship. Traumatic experiences happen in the context of relationship. Relationship is the way you can heal. This is not typically the same relationship…but it is the reason the relationship you have with your counsellor is very important.

You have to feel safe, seen, heard as part of a healthy relationship.

Connecting with a counsellor in-person or online is up to you. Reaching out might be the hardest part. I invite you to consider what it might be like for you to begin exploring your own healing. I welcome you to reach out if you’d like to connect and book your first appointment. I’m in Langley in-person and I offer online appointments anywhere in BC.