Is Emotion-Focused Therapy Right for You?

There are many approaches to counselling or therapy. Depending on what you struggle with, some might be more suited to help you heal. Another variable is how you’re wired and how comfortable you are, with different ways of working through your healing. One therapeutic model used often with anxiety and trauma is an emotion-focused approach. How do you know if an emotion-focused approach will be helpful to you?

Some emotion-focused therapies such as Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) focus intentionally on exploring your emotions. This approach can feel different from what you might be used to from other approaches like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). With a therapist, you can explore your emotions, process them and lean into past relational experiences.

When you experience a safe relationship with your therapist, positive change happens.

I often work with clients who refer to emotions as good or bad. Your family of origin may have referred to sadness as weak, anger as scary or excited as good. Emotions aren’t good or bad, they just are. Becoming more familiar with your emotions and the felt experience of them, can increase your ability to sit in the discomfort (or comfort!) of different ones. This is the beginning of emotional healing.

How can you start to do this? Shifting from a good-bad approach to a more curious perspective with emotions, can create openness. Rather than believe you should or should not feel something, or that your emotional response is right or wrong, asking yourself what you feel can help. The key to this, is getting curious about the felt emotional response…not a thought. It’s familiar to ask a client what they feel about something and the response is something they think or believe.

Emotion wheels are helpful tools, if naming an emotion is unfamiliar or difficult for you. Emotions are related to behaviours and thoughts but it’s important to notice that emotions aren’t in your head…typically you feel emotions in your body. That heaviness in your chest? Be curious about what that might be…anger…sadness…disgust?

Working alongside a therapist to heal your trauma, anxiety and emotional pain is powerful and effective.

When you feel safe, seen, validated and that space is held for you to  begin stepping into your story, emotion-focused therapy can support healing your trauma. In AEDP, undoing aloneness is a significant part of this experience. Relational hurt and trauma happens in relationship and yet it leaves you feeling alone, now. This can lead to isolation, shame, a sense of unworthiness and many other super uncomfortable felt experiences. When your aloneness is reduced and undone, you can begin to re-experience trust, (in self and others). You can feel safe to begin exploring what happened to you and to experience more of your authentic self.

If you’re thinking about counselling, I invite you to reach out and book a consultation. I offer in-person (Langley) and online appointments in BC. I’d love to connect and see whether we’d be a good fit. A consultation is a great opportunity to ask questions and get a feel for whether you feel comfortable with the way I work with clients.