Attachment Based Approach in Counselling

There are many approaches to counselling work. Often, when I consult with clients I am often asked what my counselling approach is. You might also want to know what might work best for you considering your adverse or difficult experiences and the struggles that you’re noticing. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach in my opinion, but there are a few threads I have seen woven through my work with clients.

There are some therapy approaches that are more supportive of traumatic experiences, anxiety, or relationship issues, for example. In attachment based approaches to counselling, the relationship you have with your counsellor is significant. While the counsellor-client connection is important, I believe it to be more so, when you’re experienced a relationship ruptured of any sort.

Healing your trauma can happen through the therapeutic relationship and positive emotional experiences.

This means that in a space where your counsellor provides a safe, comfortable presence, you can begin to step into healing. You can begin to experience what a healthy, positive relationship feels like. What this looks like in therapy is that your feelings aren’t too big for your counsellor. Your reactions to and experience of hard events don’t define you and they aren’t wrong. They are yours. A traumatic experience is something that happened to you and your counsellor knows this implicitly and will share it explicitly.

When you have a secure attachment (and connection) with your therapist, you won’t fear judgement as you share your experiences.

Through this, you might feel emboldened to explore some of your past experiences. You can be confident that your therapist will be with you in this. When you revisit previous experiences in therapy, an attachment-based approach means your therapist will remain present and keep you in the present. Often, when you revisit traumatic or difficult experiences you’ll notice the emotion you felt back then, comes back up. The therapist can help keep you present, grounded and more regulated and calm. This will help you to collaborate, create new coping skills, begin to heal.

One attachment based approach is called Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) works much like the above. With AEDP, when you feel safe and secure in the therapeutic relationship, you can go back to feel your experiences more deeply than you have before. This is hard work! However, slowly and over time, you can begin to notice and feel your own ability to heal.

The innate capacity to heal is central to AEDP…and the therapeutic relationship is significant.

Trust can be shattered quickly. When you can slowly, continuously and incrementally build an experience where trust is born, the potential for this is other parts of life is felt. You might stat to notice you engage differently socially, relationally – with friends or family. You might notice you feel safer or more regulated because you can notice, name and sit with some of your emotions. This will be a healing experience in and of itself. Your anxiety can decrease. It’s possible you’ll begin to notice an internal shift, in familiarly difficult situations.

You may feel more peaceful. I believe this to be healing.

If you’re curious about individual or couples counselling from an attachment-based approach, I invite you to reach out. I offer in-person trauma counselling in Langley or online anywhere in BC. I would love to connect and help you begin your healing journey!