Navigating the Fall When Things Aren’t Going Well

You made it to the Fall! Summer may have been amazing but you expected the routine and these crisp mornings would be welcome. Or, maybe summer was a slog and the shortening days have been welcome for awhile. Fall is making it’s way in. It’s settling, with all it’s beauty. The damp feel in the air, the leaves beginning to fall and swirl around on the sidewalks. The earlier sunsets. Whether change is something you embrace or not, it seems that many individuals welcome the shift from hot days and unscheduled moments. The thought of some structure to you (and your kids?!) days was possibly exciting this time last week. And yet, maybe things have started harder than you anticipated. Now you’re wading through mixed emotions. How can you navigate the Fall when things aren’t going well?

The disappointment is real.

Can we talk for a moment about how valid that is? How confusing, frustrating and exhausting it might be to look forward to something that you thought might bring relief, only to be struggling? I think it’s common to try and push through – suck it up. You don’t want to give space to your heavy or unexpected emotions. Your lived experience through this first Fall week is so valid – it’s yours, it’s personal and it’s here. Can you notice what it feels like to sit with that? Your lived experience is so real for you.

Now that you’re here…perhaps not sleeping well, feeling overwhelmed by permission slips, school emails, anxiety abounding and those darn school lunches…what can you do?

Validating your current, lived experience is so important.

Validation can be empowering. Often you might notice it’s easy to brush off or minimize what you’re feeling. You can lose trust in yourself or in others, if they invalidate you. The experience of being validated (by your own self or by someone else) speaks volumes. It cultivates (self-)compassion, it can increase trust in yourself or a relationship if someone else validates you. Being validated acknowledges your experience as understandable.

So if you’re feeling tired, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed or even somewhat burned out (the summer can take some serious energy!) that’s truly okay. And, it’s also very disappointing and difficult at times. Can you hold a little space to notice how strong you are and how it’s okay to feel those heavier emotions? Give yourself a moment to take a deep breath in and, while it might be hard, just notice the heavy – or whatever other emotions are sitting in your body.

And, take another deep breath in. And out.

Now let’s get curious about how to navigate this season. Here are some practical suggestions to shift your mood and help you navigate this season.

Get outside – even if it’s just for 10 minutes! The research on fresh air and moving your body is pretty robust. When you’re struggling, you might want to snuggle under a blanket and wait for the world to quiet down. Alternatively, you might be feeling like to you’re spinning like a top because of the to-do list. I will encourage you that 10 minutes outside in the sun, cloud, wind or even sprinkling rain will do you a world of good. Taking some deep breaths in and out can shift so much inside you. If you can, drop your shoulders and notice how it feels to release that tension. Also notice the rhythm of your steps as you walk. I’ll gently challenge you not to put on an audiobook or music…allow yourself to be present in the moment.

Eat different – even the slightest shift daily. I’m not going to get on a protein, veggie or any other nutritional soapbox, however, low energy and mood can be significantly affected by what you put in your body. Can you swap a granola bar for an egg? Or, how about a bowl of plain yogurt and fruit rather than pushing through and eating nothing? There’s a lot of research about the gut-brain axis and how influential one is to the other. Simple changes that take little or no effort, can really help you feel better. Remember, it does take a little time though! One bowl of yogurt won’t fix your Fall, but small shifts overtime can improve your mood, energy and outlook!

Connection – have you seen your favourite people recently? I think some of the reason Fall can be hard is that we’re used to anticipating group camping trips, friend BBQs, evening appies, and these other meet-ups that are so easy through the longer days. With shift back to work, school, appointments and other commitments you might be grieving some of these. Can you schedule a call with a friend? Make a point to do a Saturday morning coffee meet-up with a friend? Maybe just send a text. A familiar experience to many people is to wait for others to reach out because it feels so good to be thought of. When that text doesn’t come in, your mood might decrease. While it might be frustrating or even vulnerable to send a note, the response will likely be oh-so worth it!

Talking with someone! Often these emotions are surprising and feel like a little more than you might want to navigate alone. The Fall is a really lovely season to (re)establish healthy routines. I invite you to reach out! Connection is an intrinsic need humans have and compassionately offering yourself time to process what you’re experiencing is both healing and empowering. I’d love to connect with you and curiously explore some of your experiences so you can continue to navigate a more enjoyable season! I offer in-person counselling in the Langley area or and online anywhere in BC.